Where I Belong

 

           It seems like everywhere I go, I try to blend in, fit in, find my spot, and get comfortable. I don’t like to stick out, feel uncomfortable, feel like I don’t fit in, or belong there. I can make a special effort and fool myself into feeling like I belong, but the truth is I want to feel and be my true self. It’s mentally exhausting to live your life pretending to be someone you aren’t. I normally am myself. I don’t actually remember ever trying to be different then I am. I’m happy with how I am and I can’t change anyway so I might as well except that!

            I come home from work, my 1 yr. old sis comes running and meets me at the door. She yells, “Hey!” and does a few happy excited laughs.      

 

             My 9 yr. old brother demands,“ Get me a cup! Right Now!“ He’s short for his age, cause he doesn’t ever eat enough.          

            My 12 yr. old brother asks if I can come play hockey with him after supper. He’s a know-it-all and likes to inform me about what kind of plants are growing in the fields near our house. I asked him one day if it ever occurred to him that since I was older I was probably more educated then him. He also likes to ride four-wheeler and go-cart around all day. He’s good at giving rides. I believe there’s an art to driving. Some people are just better at it then others. 

            My 14 yr. old sis leaves her clothes laying all over the room, so I take it upon myself to “make her clothes go away”. We also go on diets together. I’m threatening to get lighter then her and I can’t wait till I can see the look on her face when I am!!

            The other day us kids signed a card for mom for Mother’s Day. I wanted everybody to sign their names in it  before morning so I could give it to mom then. Well my bro Jesse was sleeping so I tried to wake him up to sign the card. Well, he did sign it, but he didn’t write what you’d normally expect to see in a card, especially a Mother’s Day card!

He wrote,

“water…

the go too

ready people

the get

All long day…

In Thanx ”

Ya…He was kinda sleeping. My sis and I howled over that! It was hilarious…If you read parts of it backwards, it makes more sense.

            My lil 4 yr. old bro laughs hysterically for no reason when he’s tired. He loves it when I tell him stories. My favorite stories to tell are objects like a pair of shoes that come alive. One shoe named Bob and the other named Joe, then tell their life story.

            The other day folks were gone for the evening, so I took the kids to McDonalds.We were done eating and my sis and I were watching the kids play in the play area. Every once in a while one of the kids would run up to the table for a swig of soda or to come sit by me for a few seconds to tell me what they were playing. That evening while I was watching these kids, a feeling of belongingness settled on me. I realized, “we belong to each other.” We share so much of the same things, parents, a home, personalities, interests, humor, ideas. All of these things in us that make us a part of who we are, are interwoven amongst us. The thought that this is where I belong has been lingering in my mind. This is where I’m wanted. This is where I’m needed. Maybe not for my whole life, but for now, this is where I belong. It’s such a great feeling only God could have created it. I think he saves the feeling to reassure His children when they need it the most.